Manscaping Anyone?

Keith unceremoniously plopped his body down with a thud. As he leaned back in the restaurant booth, he tilted his head back and sighed.

“Arrgh,” he said, “I can see why I struck out with Ellen again. I feel like a total loser right now”

Across the table sat Jeremy. Counting grade school, they had been friends for over twenty-five years. Jeremy had seen Keith’s many moods, and this was one that Jeremy had not seen often – defeat and he did not like it.

There was no use in trying to sugarcoat the situation, Jeremy thought. Better to just attack it head on.

“Keith, why do you think that you struck out with Ellen?” Jeremy asked.

Slowly, Keith brought his head back to level. “Are you serious?” he asked. “Just look at me.”

“I am.”

“Well, from far away, there seem to be no problems. But, as you get closer, you start to notice little things. There are a few irregularities going on with my face,” Keith told him.

“Such as?” questioned Jeremy.

“Take for instance, the uni-brow that I have growing above my nose. This may be okay in Armenia, but it doesn’t seem to woo me that many ladies here.”

Jeremy looked at Keith’s eyebrows, noticing their conjoined shagginess for the first time.

“Second,” continued Keith, “are my razor bumps that seem to always be around, no matter how much a shave.”

“Alright, those I do see,” commented Jeremy.

“Last, if you’re not a superficial person and can get past those parts, you’re not going to be wowed by my breath. It’s never too good. Here, take a whiff,” offered Keith, leaning over the table towards Jeremy.

After inhaling, Jeremy had to note, “Oh, that is bad! Wow. Well, wait; you did just have a boatload of onions on that chili-dog.”

“Let me tell you, Jeremy, the onions made my breath better.” Keith paused to let that information sink in and for dramatic effect. “What I really want, Jeremy, is a website that I can go to that would help me out with all that appearance stuff. Girls have all of their sites, and I don’t understand how come we don’t have ours?”

“Oh, boy,” Jeremy said. He began hesitantly, “But, men do have a site already. I didn’t tell you about the Grooming Lounge? The company has a website at GroomingLounge.com

“First, I’m pissed that you never told me. Second, you go there for everything? What do you mean by everything?” asked Keith.

“Whether it is buying actual products like trimmers or tweezers or advice on how to get rid of nose hair, or in your case, eyebrow hair, they are the place to go. You think that my razor bumps just magically disappeared? No way, man. I just used the advice that I read on the Grooming Lounge’s website GroomingLounge.com – Men’s Shaving Products & Advice and voila! I was cured.”

“Well,” Keith considered, “I guess that finding out about GroomingLounge.com – Men’s Shaving Products & Advice late is better than finding out about it never. I do believe that after I visit the Grooming Lounge websiteGroomingLounge.com – Men’s Shaving Products & Advice, I’m going to have to call somebody.”

“Oh, yeah? Who’s that?” Jeremy asked.

“Ellen!”

“Ha! It’ll be good to have the old, confident Keith back!” Jeremy assured him.