Why do Fathers matter ?

Hello Everyone,

Fathers Day is June 21 this year, and as always, I start to think about and miss my father more than usual. He passed away about nine years ago and it still hurts. As I watch my daughters play-fight and abuse their own dad, an enormous feeling of loss envelops me. My father was a womanizer, a gambler, a drinker and a smoker……………I WORSHIPED THE MAN. I am a grown woman now, but still a little girl that adores her dad in my heart. Remembering him can be overwhelming…….but, I would like a to share a story about him with you.

In April 1999, I called my father in New York City, where he lived and ran his business. I had some very bad news. I was pregnant AND going through a divorce. I told him “Dad, the man is gone, and I am pregnant, what am I going to do now ? ” He started to laugh so loud, I thought for sure he was making fun of me, HE DID TELL ME THE MAN WAS NO GOOD. This is what he replied ” my daughter, don’t be sad, this child will make your life seem like a work of art, and besides…..I will be there to help you raise him “If my father was fine with my predicament, then why shoud’nt I, right? I hunkered down , took care of my little girls and the store and waited for my first sonogram to see what i was being blessed with.

On September 1999, I went for a sonogram and upon arriving and checking in I was told to fill in some forms. As I read , my eyes caught something on the page. ….under reason for the sonogram, they had listed: ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE …….What ? Me? But I am a fertile goddess you people. So with my ego bruised , I laid down and…………I saw the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on. I ran home and called my father. Upon hearing that he will have a grandson, he bought everyone at the bar a drink, and right then and there he………. QUIT SMOKING AND DRINKING.

On October 1999 , he was diagnosed with bone cancer. I could not believe it, this strong happy man was terminally ill and there was nothing much that we could do about it. Within six weeks he was in Hospice Care and I was totally helpless. Thats when the nice hospice folks gave me a book called: FINAL GIFTS. I read it all within hours, and it was a GOD SEND. It explained why my father was telling me strange things like : ” When the boy is 15 he will forget to come home, Make sure you tell him who’s the boss” OR he would look as if he was seeing people that I could not see. SAD STUFF. Not being able to help loved ones , is hell, isn’t it ? Thankfully, it did not take long. Looking back, I think he was trying to die fast, so as not to make me suffer. On November 27, 1999 my father died.

On December 9, 1999 My son Elias was born.

Life is full of suprises right? You never know what a new day will bring. I do know how much he mattered to me. He was the man that knew it would be allright, and it is. He was the man that gave me courage and strength when he had none. He was the man that knew I could do this…………..and like most fathers………did not have to say so. Happy Fathers Day, thank you for reading my post, and, if you will excuse me……………….I have to go resolve a paternity case !