Hi Maria here (Miracles creative director),

I’ve been reading this book called “for women only” by Shaunti Feldhahn and beneath the title it says, “What you need to know about the inner lives of men.” It’s a great short read about how men are wired. I purchased this little book from my church because I was so intrigued by the title. What did I have to lose? Not realizing that I had everything to gain, I started reading. The book is based on 7 major “revelations” about men which are as follows:

o Men Need Respect (i.e.: Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected)
o Men Are Insecure (i.e.: Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered)
o Men Are Providers (i.e.: Even if you personally made enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide)
o Men Want More Sex (i.e.: Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life)
o Men Are Visual (i.e.: Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women)
o Men Are Unromantic Clods (i.e.: Actually, most men enjoy romance and want to be romantic-but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed)
o Men Care About Appearance (i.e.: You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself-and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you)

Each of these was expounded upon and dissected based on interviews with hundreds of men but I will give you the abridged version.

The first revelation is that men need respect; a woman has the power to either tear her man down or build him up to the sky. Without respect men literally will shut us out! Seriously, think about a time in your relationship when you blatantly disrespected your man. What was his reaction? If this book is correct, which in my opinion it is, then we must respect our men to keep them engaged in the relationship.

The next important principle is that men are wired to provide and we must not take that away from them. They work long hours to provide for their families and that is what they were made to do; provide for us. I want to emphasize this as much as possible: LET THEM PROVIDE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

We hold the key to a man’s well-being and confidence; how powerful are women and we didn’t even know it! All you have to do is have incredible, gratifying, mind-blowing sex with your man. For men, love is synonymous with sex and if they are not getting any, then they feel unloved.

On that same token, men are visual and we have to be cognizant of the fact that it’s no disrespect to us; it’s just how they are wired. I really struggle with this one because I am a hot blooded, possessive Greek woman and I can’t comprehend how a man who is with me and is happy can even glance at another woman! Just remember that if he is truly in love with you, you have nothing to worry about. They can’t help it! It’s how they are wired.

It’s no secret that women want romance and men know it. We want to be wined, dined, bought gifts and swept off our feet but the number one complaint is lack of romance. Did you know that men really are romantic? Did you know that they want to do all these things for us? All we have to do is let them and facilitate it.

And the big finale, the one thing that the majority of women dread: Appearance! Since men are visual, they love for women to take care of themselves. Men believe that if you take care of your appearance, you care for them! Ladies, please don’t take this as you have to be a size 3 and deprive yourself of food. Men just want to see that you keep yourself beautiful by doing your nails, getting your hair done, grooming, exercising etc.

There you have it ladies: all you needed to know about men summarized.

“Oh, no!” Toshi’s father exclaimed. He smacked himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand and winced. “Your mother’s birthday is tomorrow!”

On the other side of the family room, Toshi just shook his head and smiled. As an almost fully grown man, now a senior in college, he had seen this very same scene played out for as long as he could remember. “Let me guess, Dad, I’m betting that since you didn’t remember Mom’s birthday, that also means that you have no gift,” he said.

“Ah, ah, um, no. Of course I have a gift,” stammered Toshi’s father. “I was just yelling and doing that stuff for theatrics.”

“You mean sort of like the theatrics you saw when you bought Mom tickets to the KISS reunion tour? How did she take that present, I wonder?”

A glowering stare was the only response that Toshi received.

“If I remember correctly,” Toshi said, “that was a last minute purchase. I think that gift was even better than the bison burgers that you bought a few years back at that store that was going out of business! Do you remember the look on Mom’s face when she tore off the wrapping, hoping against hope that you had finally gotten her a thoughtful gift, and she got burgers!” Toshi broke into cackles of laughter.

“I choose not to remember some things in life, and that is a moment that I have selectively decided to not recall,” Toshi’s dad said. He thought to himself for a few moments. As he rolled the list of gifts back in his mind, he realized that he had given some pretty horrible duds. He was on a birthday losing streak that seemed to be lasting for years. He had to turn things around.

“You know, Toshi, you have two sisters, but it’s just the two of us guys in this family,” began Toshi’s dad, “and we men should stick together and look out for eachother. So, err, son, I would really appreciate it if you could give a few suggestions as to what you think I should buy your mother.”

“Whoa, are you serious, Dad? You’re finally trying to shake off the Neanderthal-style presents?” Toshi paused before adding, “I’m so…I’m so proud of you.”

“Okay, okay, enough, Mr.Comedian. I know that you already got your mother something nice, so just tell me what to do.”

With a big smile still on his face, Toshi walked over the family room’s entertainment cabinet and reached a thick arm behind the plasma TV, pulling out an ornately wrapped red box crowned by an aquamarine bow. “This is my present,” he stated proudly.

His father took it from his son’s hands, turning the box around so he could see all sides. He had to admit, even the box alone was nicer than all the gifts that he had given, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. Moving his fingers, Toshi’s dad gingerly shimmied the top off the box and peered inside.

“Whoa, those are beautiful!” The words escaped from his lips before he had the time to stop them. “These earrings are absolutely gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” acknowledged Toshi.

“I know that it didn’t come from me, so where did you get such good taste?” inquired Toshi’s father.

Toshi smiled again. “I didn’t. I have to thank Gilbert & Frech for that.”

“Gilber & who?” asked Toshi’s dad.

“Gilbert & Frech. They’re a jewelry brad, Dad,” Toshi said, shaking his head. “You need to know this stuff. They have it all, whether it’s gemstones, necklaces or earrings, you can bet that they’ll have the most eye-catching, timeless designs around.”

“Gilbert & Frech. I like them already! And, with Christmas just around the corner, it looks like I’ll be accompanying you on your next jewelry shopping expedition, son.” Toshi’s father was now examining the card that Toshi had picked out and signed for his mother. He produced a pen from his shirt pocket.

“Dad?” Toshi asked. “Dad? Why are you signing the card that I bought for Mom?

Toshi’s dad looked at him and let out a pleased sigh. “You mean the card that we bought for Mom, don’t you?,” he smiled and said. “I think it is only fitting that I put my name on this card since I taught you about the wonderful jewelry at Gilbert & Frech. Bestowing my knowledge on you isn’t always free, you know. Let’s just think about it as my fee for teaching you the three little words that always save the day.”

Toshi’s eyebrows curled quizzically. He wasn’t sure exactly what his father was talking about. “And, what three words are those?,” asked Toshi.

His father looked at him and replied, “Why, ‘Gilbert & Frech,’ of course!”

Toshi laughed as he finally understood. “Gilbert and Frech it is!”